Remember December

allauragrafie

I see you walking through the woods, my right eye never fully left your guise. Your movements as painfully slow as you are, but still way too fast for me. I hear the cracking of dead branches on the ground. My sound. Felt your cold, black cloak on my skin long before today was here. Well then. Good day, well known being! I wouldn’t say I’ve missed you, but I’ve certainly expected you.

Now we stand again, equally at the same place.
Years may have past by, but you’re as real as you can possibly be.

I’m weaker than the times before. Those past months, you really scared me frequently. I hate you, but wish you would stop me from falling down. I can barely stand without you. I know it’s not your fault. My sweet hope should get the punishment. Again. I know it’s time to say goodbye.

It will take a long time until my left side won’t feel numb anymore.
So let’s turn away. Away from the window.

It’s like walking down the rabbit hole, every step feels like time at the shore. Please take my hand and guide me through this maze of memories. I will follow you. But may I ask again? Why is it always me? Why? Please. I can’t do this no more. Searching for my room in a labyrinth of bouncing castles ..

I know this all too well already. But it was never this painful. You really got me good this time. Not in my deepest dreams I could’ve imagined a twin like that would exist. And if so, I’d thought I’d never meet him. But there he was, like somebody snapped their fingers. Just like that. What did you say? True friendship can be much deeper than love? Ah, I see. This is why it hurts so much.

But tell me, was it really true? „I always tried to get a closer view ..“

Well then, solitude, let’s go. We have no need to talk. The worst about our walk out of the labyrinth, are the pictures on the walls.„Shining like a work of art, hanging on a wall of stars.“ Like they say: A picture paints more than a thousand words. Feeling all the things I’m missing now. Thank you for guiding me, old friend. Now it has to begin, the growth of hope and courage. Once more.

I so hope we’ll never see each other again.
But as I shake your hand goodbye, I shatter into thousand pieces.
Maybe, I just give up for good.

And if I’ll never find a kindred spirit again, I’ll bury these memories under a beech and know forever,
that my so called best friend was „always just a little out of reach.“

© lauragrafie
Song pieces by Guster, Satellite. 

___________________________

Desperate times call for desperate writing. It’s all good now. Thanks for not asking.
„As if it was yesterday“ luckily not an option anymore. And you know what? You’re not needed.

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